Women sometimes cringe or get angry when the topic of submission to their husbands is brought up. I believe that is only because they do not understand the proper meaning. Submission does NOT mean that men can treat their wives as doormats. Submission means that women respect their husbands and speak the truth in love. Women do not need to be afraid of what will happen if they speak they truth in love. If your husband respects you, then there is no reason to worry about the outcome. It is better to say what you feel than to expect for your husband to guess how you are feeling. God did not create a man's brain that way; He created women that way. Therefore, since God has created man and woman this way, we must accept that in any case, not just in marriages. Simply put, wives, respect your husbands authority, but do not be afraid to give your loving opinion. Husbands, love your wives, just as you love yourselves. In response, they will love and respect you. To be honest, it is difficult for a woman to love her husband if he continuously bosses her around or abuses her (women, accept no form of the latter). If you notice, God does not command women to love their husbands, although love must be in a marriage. He commands them to "accept the authority of [their] husbands." In another passage, men are instructed to love their wives. When they do so, women will automatically show proper respect. Let me make it clear that I am not at all stating that women should love their husbands only when they show love to them. How many of us know that's just plain foolish? :) But I am saying that it is much easier for the woman to love and respect her husband when he shows her that he is taking his position of authority seriously by loving her and their children (if any).
Women, if your husband is an unbeliever, it will NOT do any good to lecture him or give him a sermon. More than likely, he has heard the Gospel and has chosen to be unresponsive. Therefore, only your "pure and reverent lives" will set the example that your husband needs so that he may one day make the decision to follow Christ when the Holy Spirit prompts him to do so. Men, if your wife is an unbeliever, the same applies to you. Many of the verses regarding relationships in the Bible can be easily reversed to fit the other person as well.
So women, their is no need to feel upset or discouraged in the area of submission. Get in God's Word, and understand what He means. Then, you will surely see the light in this area.